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Blank Pages

What do I want to say? As I stared at the blank screen of this blog before writing, I began to think back over the past few years at the changes I've endured. I lost my youngest brother to cancer, followed by my grandfather the next year, the loss of a job I had loved for ten years a few months later, and a plethora of job changes searching for the 'new me' over the past couple of years. Have I found myself yet? Absolutely not. But I can say, enduring these past years I have discovered a new love that I never knew possible. Writing.

I've always loved to tell stories. When I was in 3rd grade, my teacher, Lula VanBuren, had a notebook where she would keep her student's short stories. She encouraged me to write every day and sometimes read my stories aloud to the class. She nurtured a love of writing in me that still exists to this day.

I had been so focused on making a career as a nurse and raising my family that I had not visited the idea of becoming a writer until 2016. I was enrolled in Northwestern State University in the master's program for nursing, had been a full-time nurse at a hospital for ten years, and had a husband and three children at home. My life was stretched to the max until my brother's leukemia returned. I was suddenly at a loss and everything became pointless in my mind. I was depressed.

I dropped out of nursing school and spent as much time as my weekends off would allow with my brother until he passed away April 10, 2016. He had just turned 29. Gone too soon with so much he still wanted to say to the world.

I had never understood depression nor had I experienced clinical depression before that year. I researched natural remedies for depression, because being a nurse I had an understanding of what I was experiencing, but everyone knows nurses make the worse patients. I still had no outlet, but managed to muddle through.

Later that year, I sat down at a computer with a story in my mind about my brother. He was a little over a year old and I could see the event in my mind so clearly. My fingers started flying across the keyboard, recording the events in writing, and before I knew it I had written almost 1000 words in less than an hour. This was the beginning of my journey to write about my brother.

I've now written an unpublished novella that is still in the editing phase and started on my biggest dream, my children's novel, Finn Rogers and the Heart of Elvelon.

Over the past two years, I have soaked up as much information as I could about writing, editing, publishing, and promoting a novel. I've watched YouTube videos, listened to podcasts, read books, joined SkillShare, bought a new camera to make my own videos and purchased a website. I've even learned how to navigate on Twitter, which was a mystery to me before last year. Imagine that.

Now that I've mustered up the courage to start a blog, it's time to turn these blank pages into something memorable.